I guess it's true what they say that sometimes a bad situation make you realize somethings that you've questioned before. Like for instance shit happened to me yesterday and I had to attend a wedding where I supposed to smile and be happy in front of people. I started to questioned if God loves me, and why was He doing this to me. But then I realized that God has a point. That night I ended up feeling better because I saw all my family that I missed so much, and I laughed because I saw my amazing grandmother did some dangerous moves on the dance floor. Or the fact that my uncles are the ones that made me feel pretty again, and my cousins are the ones who made me feel fun and good about myself. So I realized that God is taking a good care of me. He didn't leave me.
And I also realized some other things. That people don't really grow inside after 30 years or maybe more. I mean hmm, My Gramma still get down as good as I do, she still got some dangerous moves and sings like one of those dixie chicks or any other korean girl bands. Or the fact that my uncle still pops some sarcastic comments in the middle of a nice light convos. So yeah, life is funny. It's different that what I've known before. But then I realized, as hard and confusing as it seems, there will always be some little things that makes you feel better. Even if you're scared of changing or growing old or get broken-hearted or failing or falling in love or other stuffs. You can always be a kid at heart.
for example, i got my classmates that make me laugh when i'm around. I got vanessa dorothea, a crazy bitch that I've known since 7th grade, or Geraldine Supit (I dont really know how or since when we became a close friend). So yeah. Im fine, I guess. Thanks for making me feeling not so grown-up-y (?)
Sorry if I freak you guys out :p