20 September 2010

The Paradox

belakangan ada hal yang menarik bagi saya.

i had a fight with my mom. it was scary. i hated myself. persoalan yang tidak bisa saya jabarkan karena terlalu rumit dan berlarut. Toh, jika dijelaskan akan sulit untuk dimengerti. tapi menyakitkan, jelas.

i felt so alone. i cried. dan saat itu saya buka twitter, dan meliat salah seorang pengguna twitter yang saya kenali, saya anggap cukup inspiratif. @AlandaKariza

saya tulis,

@AlandaKariza if you feel you wanna die, what to do?

i wasnt suicidal. Its just another way of saying that my life felt so hard and pointless.
dia balas,

Demi hidup. Gak harus mati. Percaya deh @reginagab

saat itu saya tidak mengerti. Namun beberapa saat kemudian ada direct message masuk, yang membuat saya cukup kaget.
Alanda Kariza: Kamu kenapa? cerita. email saya aja ke ****** siapa tahu saya bisa hibur kamu :)

kenapa saya kaget, i was really surprised because the fact that a stranger cares. Ada orang asing yang mau meluangkan waktu dan actually give a damn sama keadaan orang yang ga kenal sama dia. and i know it sounds weird but i felt a bit of hope.

i took my phone, write her an email. then i went to bed because i was too messed up to study. Kepala saya mau pecah.

and then at 1 am i woke up, baca email balesan dari Alanda Kariza,

"... berpikir yang jernih, mungkin ini cuma satu bentuk proses pendewasaan. Kita semua pasti harus dewasa - waktunya aja yang beda - beda.

ya? :)

btw, my boyfriend (@Ardiandhy) is very impressed with your talent. he told me, you play trumpet? that's awesom! ;) your mother must be (perhaps secrety) proud!

Love.
A"

yah intinya that girl inspire me, to grow up as a person. and giving me the true meaning of having problems is to just go through with it, dengan lapag dada dan sabar.

dan saya juga sadar if you continue to hate the situation or maybe a person, you will have no time to love them. Kenyataannya ada seseorang out there yang peduli sama sesama, not because they know but because it was the right thing to do.

and for that, i will forever be grateful.

HAPPY INTERNATIONAL PEACE ONE DAY! Love and hugs.
p.s AlandaKariza is a writer, go google her.

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