30 September 2010

Blocked

You see i've always been in to music almost my whole life. Recently just discovered the Dave Matthews band form local musician, Barry Likumahuwa's twitter page. Googled them and love them right away. I know lots of good music and its not the genres that actually matters. Its way more complicated than just labels.
I listen mostly to Jazz, Blues, Classic Rock, Organic or all of them combined. Some say my taste is a bit weird, but actually i feel kinda happy that lots of people are starting to notice my genre. Especially here in my city, Jakarta.

I remember tha day that i told myself; I wanna do Music. I wanna be something big. That day was when i watched the Hit Man - David Foster and Friends concert which was held back in 2004 with my Grandma. We, back then, were sitting in her comfortable couch and we both were so amazed. Im just saying that something that great has given me such a positive effect of my life. It inspired me. And yes, at that moment Irealized I wana be a part of it.

They say music is an universal languange. he heck it is, its eve more bigger than just a language. Something that even I (who always trying to search theories over things) cant explain with my own words.

But for musician out there -- i recently realized that there are some things that we often forget.

From that HIT MAN show, i spotted a girl singer named Renee Olstead. She was a jazz singer with a voice so beautiful and mature. Discovered when she was 14, younger than i am now. And i was envious. I wanna be like her. Become a great singer and performer, or do something that has to do with crowds, and the stage. And then i realixed how i haven't really improved or achieed anything in my whole life. And then i also play trumpet, and it is something that i really enjoy. Always have this amazing plan to go solo, make a band or somthing. But never had a good chace or guts to do so.

And the it started to go wrong. It seems like its pointless because those things are just some dreams that are going nowhere. I started to believe that maybe I was nothing more than a day dreamer. And them, i started to think that i suck, and (almost) decided to give up those things i' had been holding to for a long time. (It's not really giving up when you actually got exactly no idea what to do, it's more like..surrendering to fate)

But then one day i talked with my friend who's also my band mate in high school. She plays guitar and we both kinda feel the same way. But she actually said something that i will always remember, she said "I dont know why but I will really enjoy being on stage with you. It feels like when you sing, I feel that music runs inside you. I know it sounds corny but that's really what I feel"
I didn't mean to brag, i was just trying to show you how someone can appreciate my talent when i cant even appreciate it myself. And at that moment i realized that i was wrong about myself. The reason in the first place that i wanted to sing, or do music or play trumpet is because those are things that i love. Not bevause it is going to make me someone famous, or because it will give me lots of moey. But because it's what i've always wanted to do for whole my life. Because it is what makes me happy. Becauthat it is actually the only thing that I'm good at.

So giving up, or surrendering to fate, for something just because things get hard isnt going to work well for my life either. I should just accept what's coming in my life by keep doing what i do best.

Sometimes we forget that point. Sometimes our mind is Blocked by the perception that revolves around fame, or money. This is just a 15mins reminder (or maybe less) of what music is all about. If you dont succeded doesn't make you suck. It's just going to make you wait a little bit longer.

get my point?


Anyway, this is pretty much how my life is. I've been absent from the TV life for more than 2 weeks now. Absolutely no TV. No Star World, no Fox, no HBO, no MTV.

Have a great week!


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